Sunday, March 23, 2014

Single on Marriage

I've been sick these past few days and missed 2 major exams for the finals. Instead of worrying myself from unfinished projects,special exams to face and unfinished tasks at work which I cannot do anything as of that time, I tried to give in to taking long hours of sleep and doing nothing which was so so boring. Good thing I can watch TV from my cellphone. Bad thing is that, I kept on flipping from one channel to another on advertisement parts plus the shows and topics didn't interest me. (need I say too that it's late night already). I resorted to sticking with Hope Channel Philippines and surprisingly seriously listened to Pastor Lowell Teves of Filipino American SDA church .

He spoke to youths in what seemed like a conference held in Bukidnon.  He spoke of relationships,from the dangers and truths on relationships among young people to using phrases like "opening happiness" "the real thing" to elaborate the topic about premarital sex and love (he might've also used 'give in to your thirst'). It was very educating and I think we need more of that. We need more of constant reminders. Sadly I wasn't able to jot down notes about that. What I managed to jot down was about the marriage topic. 

The Five Stages of Marriage:

1.The Paradise Stage 
       where everything is perfect. This usually lasts 3 months from the wedding.

2.The Unmasking Stage
      disappointments and misunderstandings begin to creep in. You'll start wondering whether you married the right person or not and sometimes you'd think that you were wrong indeed. In the words of Ellen White "Never entertain the thought that your marriage was a mistake".
There is unmasking because in the courting stage people usually put their best foot forward ( pray that the other foot is a better one ). Always trying to impress (and forgot to show what are they when they are depressed and distressed).

3. Adjusting Stage
       This is the break-in period.  The talk,talk,understanding part. Where proper communication is highly stressed as a vital component in any relationship.
       a. Civil War Stage-where you argue in public (huh!?Best to argue at home I think)
       b. Home Front Stage- arguing at home.
When you argue at home, do not do it in front of your children. Children are very intelligent and observant (They learn from what they see and hear) and you wouldn't want them to think that their mother is 'idiot' and their father 'stupid'(just because they hear you say that to each other)

4. Enjoying or the Suffering Stage
This can be the dessert or the desert stage.
the DESERT stage


5.Sweet ending or the Bitter Stage
(and I was lost on this part)

It's good to have the stages numbered It gives a sense of control. Imagine jumbling all of those and I think that's what marriage is more about.

*I remember reading  The Compleat Marriage by  Nancy Van Pelt when I was in highschool (and forgot already what's in it,I just ran out of books to read that time). Listening to a Pastor from SDA church reminds me of home,we have so many books by PPHSDA books at home. From healthbooks to bible stories...OMG they literally supply good books.(now I'm off-topic,guess I'm not fully recovered yet)

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