Saturday, December 19, 2015

Wee Hours Confession

There's the guy you cry for
The one who's for sure, there is no OR
Coz he could've been the one but gone somewhere with someone
You are just a fan and he's just fond.

There's the boy you cry about
The one who makes you want to scream and shout
Coz no matter how much you want to makes things right
You always lose the fight in getting him out of sight

Then there's the man you cry with
The one who's all-giving with no greed, yet you always reject like a weed
Coz no matter how much he deserves something hearty
you really cannot give from something that's empty.

Yes, here's the one who cries for them
Someone whose both amused and confused
on whether her feelings are that of a girl, a lady or a woman
Coz she'd rather think than base feelings on an organ
Someone who stays up til dawn
Coz she doesn't even know how to fake some yawn.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015


The picture and the text are not related, I just want to use my GodSon's picture: One of his many adventures of growing up

Falling is when you let go
Like when you're tired of dangling and holding on
Flying is when you take a leap and discover that you can soar
Falling is for the tired
Flying is for the courageous, brave and daring
Falling is hoping someone would catch you
     knowing you'd end up on the ground if they don't
Flying is relying your survival and the outcomes on your ability
     and not blaming circumstances on other people

To everhopefuls:

Fly in love this time
You tried falling and no one caught you
     not even the ones who told you they would.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Lettuce Salad (para sa mga katulad kong Kambing na may Beyngs)

What you'll need:

1 medium head Lettuce
2 medium sized Tomatoes
1 small bulb of onion
ginger strips
Iced Water/Cold water

Mixing Bowl
Copping Board

1. Wash the lettuce leaves and set aside.

2. Wash the tomatoes and slice , do not include the seeds (I prefer cubes because they look pleasing to the eye)

3. Peel onion and slice into thin strips. You have to cut the onion into thin strips so that it goes unnoticeable in your salad. This way, picky eaters get to eat them than spend a lightyear separating them good onions from the salad.

4. Peel Ginger and cut also into thin strips. The more ginger you use, the more flavor you get.

5. Ready your ice bath. This is just cold water in a big bowl or basin for your lettuce leaves. Dip the leaves into the cold water and drain. Do not soak for too long,the goal is to perk the leaves up that they may come out crisp.

6. Slice the leaves.

7. In a mixing bowl, combine the sliced tomatoes,ginger and onions. 
8.Add salt to taste and squeeze calamansi juice. Remove the lemon seeds for they tend to give off a bitter taste, The lemon gives life to your salad. When you don't put lemon and just use mayonnaise, Mauumay ka (Sorry there's just no exact word for umay).

9. Add mayonnaise,stir and taste to your liking. Add more salt depending on your preference. For first timers, use Lady's Choice Mayonnaise for a no-fail salad. We only use Lady'd Choice Mayonnaise at home and no other. But you can always use other brands of mayonnaise but some are sweet to the taste so you'll be needing more time to get the perfect taste. I say, save the other mayonnaise brands to your future experimentation (if you want).

10. Mix in the leaves

11. Enjoy your salad as part your meal or as a snack.

I forgot to take a picture of the salad I prepared for I ate it right away. You should try this one, really. You may start with a small sized head of lettuce if you're having doubts with the salad. But for me? There's no saying NO when I'm offered with this salad. I don't order salads when dining out because I know what delicious salad tastes .(for me)*winks

Monday, April 13, 2015

Keychain for the Woman?

Our Executive Director gave this souvenir from his latest trip. 

A keychain from Vigan City.

I'd like/love to go there....soon maybe.

Vigan is known for its ancestral houses but there is so much to explore in Ilocos from Food to Sand dunes to Windmills and many things in between.

I have to admit I am yet to sort what the design means. teehee! What I'm sure of is that sign etched is the gender symbol for female (Venus sign).

See you Vigan (soon!) 
-----super crossed fingers!

Brand New Day

Starting the day early by waking up an hour earlier than other people is an edge. I got the time to enjoy a lazy morning routine and finished the day's listed tasks before 10 in the morning. Plus, there's lesser traffic and walking is still enjoyable with the sun shining (but not scorching) and lesser dust and pollution from passing vehicles.

I got the time to look at bulletin boards and just take everything in.
Isn't it amazing? I Should do this more often.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

On a Fine Sunday

One very fine Sunday!
A day with no worries.
No specific activities
Just a plan to seize and make use of the day.
Just taking in the moment.
No brisk walking.
No thoughts flying .
No day dreaming.
Just being present in the "Here" & "Now"
Looking down at my feet, there is a mix of litter,dried leaves and fallen flowers scattered everywhere.
It looked like a mess until I refocused my sight.
I saw beauty in it. 
A purpose and a meaning.
Looking up, I saw a more beautiful view.
A view of hope and endless possibilities.
Each day is beautiful, only if we see and think it that way.
We don't have to blame people,events or things for ruining our day.
We should be reprimanding ourselves for overlooking the good things, the help and blessings.
Life offers something beautiful each day,
We just have to look around.
Look closer or look beyond,
Either way, there's something for us to see and marvel at.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Fast & Furious 7 (closer you and I)

I am not a movie critic nor this is a movie review. I am just an ordinary movie goer who judges movies not by its cinematography etc. but by how the movie made me feel and on what the movie is trying to show and tell (or the lack of it).

All-in, the movie is worth a lot of thumbs up. You can see that my face has more to tell about the movie.hehe

I watched Fast & Furious 7 in 3D and no other words but "ooohhhh". I doubt if "Ooohhhh"'s even a word. Since I am wearing eyeglasses, I have to wear the 3D glasses on top of my spectacles (well, what do you expect? I'm like Harry Potter who needs to wear eyeglasses if we want to see what's in front of us. Harry Potter even wore his eyeglasses underwater. 
click this link to see-----> Seeker of Keeper)

So so so, with 3D glasses on I can say how beautiful flying cars are. Even the glass chunks from broken tempered glasses looked like sparkly diamonds and sometimes looked like stardust (stardust? Yes! my failing eyes saw stardusts. Excuse my eyesight).

I still have my movie hangover. (If you know what that means). Since the day is already special because it's Araw ng Kagitingan (a Holiday!) and the birthday of our Courier Friend from General Santos, the movie just made the day more special and a conclusion that my day was well spent with good things, good thoughts and a good friend. 

Plus, we got senti moments at the end of the movie where Brian's and Dom's car went separate ways and Seeing the familiar face of Nathalie Emmanuel (aka Missandei in Game of Thrones )and Nathalie Kelley (aka Neela in Tokyo Drift and the girl in Bruno Mars' Just the Way You Are music video) moved the movie closer to my heart.

You too go watch the film and bring with you your Family.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

2015 Commencement Speech

Last March 24,2015 I was invited to be the guest speaker for my High School's Commencement Exercises. It was my first time and I had so many things to say yet I don't want to run an hour-long speech. I have to admit, my nervousness and excitement for the upcoming event was overpowered by my frustration in making my speech. 

I wanted to tell them that education is not a privilege anymore, but a necessity. Tell them not to follow their heart at all times, because sometimes, the heart is selfish and lazy. But I ended up, with a somewhat different speech when I was down to my last 10 hours of speech drafting.

Here is the full copy of my prepared speech and in many times along the way, I deviated from my copy and just blurted the things that popped in my head (memories and lessons). 

Bottom line: I just want them to study hard and finish schooling. Find their purpose in life and continue living the good life. 

I remembered mispronouncing some words and talking fast. . . I wasn't expecting for everybody to listen. I was just hoping that someone did grasp something from my speech and use it in any way that may benefit him/her.

Good Morning!
To the Faculty and Staff of Kalilangan Baptist Christian Academy, Students, Parents, Graduates and Visitors.

Thank You for having me here.

What we are today is just the result of the decision we made yesterday. Years ago, you went on a mission to finish high school and here you are as highschool graduates. Years ago, you graduated in kindergarten and here you are about to enter highschool.  For you kids at pre-school, years from now, you will be just like them graduating in elementary or highschool.

Congratulations to the parents and guardians. Here are the first fruits of your hardwork, support, care and love.
Congratulations to the teachers for another job well done.
And congratulations to you graduates.

There you are wearing your togas and here I am wearing a smile on my face. Be proud of yourself for this day marks another defining event in your life. We are all proud of you for finishing a phase full of assignments, quizzes, projects and exams. Now that you are graduating, it is high time for you to step into a new horizon. You have reached the frontier of global transformation and unity. A world that is serving you a plate full of options and opportunities.  I can still remember myself sitting there, wearing my toga. I was half happy and the other half was feeling a mix of fear, confusion and excitement.

I was happy that I finally graduated in high school. On the other side though, I had mixed feelings. I felt fear for I will be moving on to a new place, a new school. I was confused and excited, because there are so many things I wanted to become. I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to be a model. I wanted to wear a crown. I wanted to wear business attire and join corporate meetings like what I see in Soap Operas and I even wanted to become a crew at Jollibee, Sell ChickenJOys and clean the tables. There are so many things I wanted to become and everything is possible. I just want to grab all of them.

You might already have concrete plans after highschool and that’s good for you. But I bet, some of you have the same confusion that I had. It is normal to want many things but there are times when you really have to choose. If you do not know what you really want, then at least know what you do not want. What are the things that you do not want? Knowing the things you don’t want will also guide you in deciding your next step after highschool.
Way back in  highschool, I just wanted to be successful.

All of us wants to be successful. Who doesn’t? But what does success means to you? Does it mean having a job someday? Making your parents proud? becoming an inspiration? getting rich? becoming a rich farmer? being a doctor? being a charity doctor? Whatever success means to you, Surely it would require you to work and study hard to achieve it.

And the world has become so demanding, requiring a long list of qualifications that you need to meet if you want to succeed.  You need to be excellent in your chosen field of study and you are also required to know other skills. The world is in need of people with multiple skills so do not limit yourselves when it comes to learning.  Kelangan natin makipagsabayan sa takbo ng panahon or else mapag iiwanan tayo.

Globalization has made things easier for us. You can have 20 books or more in one thin gadget, you can watch concerts for free without getting out of the house, and you can do shopping, deposit and transfer money with just one tap of your finger. You can pay bills without falling in line. We get to communicate with different people around the world and we get to establish ties with them, Learn new things that are good and apply it.

But globalization had also brought us unfiltered mass of both information and garbage. It is good to have an open mind but do not open it fully, or else people will throw a lot of rubbish into it. The new world will offer you things that are sometimes hard to resist or deny. The new age has given us easy access to things that are restricted years ago.  That is why, I would also like to tell you that if you are face to face with something that makes you confused or something na napapakanta ka ng “ I feel something so right doing the wrong thing” …. When you are torn between two or more things, you get a grip on your values and start establishing your principles in life.

Global transformation has indeed inspired us to change and become better and if we want to survive longer, we need to adapt to the change.  But that change does not mean that we have to leave our values behind us. As you journey into a new phase in a changing place, I would like to remind you that aside from packing your favorite t-shirt you should also bring your values with you. Do not forget what KBCA and your parents or guardians taught you. Do not forget that the basics for survival are still the all-time principles of faith, hard work, perseverance and discipline. In my experience, trends come and go, but GMRC (Good manners and Right Conduct) are always in. Good manners never run out of style so do not forget to say your Please and Thank You’s, say excuse me and I’m sorrie’s.

Our Class valedictorian told us on our graduation day AJAH graduates, AJAH!

Today I am using AJAH again, but I am not addressing it to you. Because I know you could make it through whatever challenges. You have the potential and KBCA had equipped you already with the necessary knowledge, skills and discipline that you need to kick start  your new journey to continuing education. Therefore my AJAH! Will go to your parents and guardians. AJAH! Parents and guardians! For I know the tuition and price of books has gone high compared to the ones we were paying years ago. Aside from extra rice, you need to have extra work, extra effort, extra savings for education.

Despite such costly investment, I hope you send them further to higher education. As seniors in this life, it is our duty to create and leave a good lineage of generation. A generation of people that are competent and knowledgeable, a generation with a heart who chooses to do good and right things and a generation that is hard working. Please continue to support or push them in pursuing their talents and exploring their potentials. Please do not give up on them, when they tend to become headstrong or heartstrong.

To the school and the teachers, I hope you keep up the good work of bringing and giving quality education. Thank you for producing equipped batches year after year. The success of KBCAians is also your success.

To you students and graduates whatever you do, give it your best shot. Be the best that you can be. Do not settle for “Okay Na .” go beyond. Learn more. Do more. Be more. Make your parents proud by doing things with a sense of purpose. Step out from your comfort zones and do not be afraid to face new things.

Do not be afraid to face challenges for by being challenged, we realize our potential. We find out how much talent and strength  God has bestowed upon us.  Before, we used to say in school “ Monster jud ni nga teacher”, he would give us exams that are hard but still answerable, he would give us projects with tomorrow as the deadline and he would tell us “ Someday, you will realize why you have to undergo this kind of training” …Now we say “ PAWER jud keo si sir/ma’am” because indeed they had prepared us in facing a  challenging reality.  Train hard and trust the process. Even Manny Pacquaio is not excused in Training hard.

Do not condemn failure. Failure is an opportunity for us to know our weakness, strengthen it and rise up even stronger. I myself had been sort of kicked out from the Accountancy program, lost my scholarship and even got an F mark.  What is important is you get back up and start again. Failure is not a destination. Failure is just an evaluation stage.

Do not compare yourself to other people. Do not underestimate your capability to be the best of what you are and of what you can do. Hindi pwedeng mag eengineer tayong lahat. Or mag lalawyer or mag ti teacher lahat. Someone has to be the dentist, the electrician, the accountant. We would also need pilots, police and nurses. Someone has to be the priest, the technician or the IT.  Each of us has given equal right to contribute in the community and make this world a better place to live in so do not waste the space that is allotted for you to occupy. Unity is different from uniformity.

Do not ever stop dreaming .The future will always be bright for those who have dreams, for those who are hopeful and determined in achieving those dreams. Study hard, if that’s not enough then you study harder. Please please (nanghangyo) please pursue continuing education. When you get to finish college, You get closer to your other dreams ( I know you have many dreams). You get closer to people who can help you. You get closer to many opportunities. You get to do more things easier and you get to make your parents and guardians and your country proud.

Most importantly, Do not stop praying. In whatever era we were and are in, the Lord has never and will never abandon us.  He’s always present, guiding and coaching us in the right path. It just happens that the frontiers of global transformation and unity has prepared a more challenging place to test our skills, faith and values.

 Facing Global transformation and Unity still requires the same basic things:
A working mind, a working heart and a hardworking pair of hands.

As you go up here and claim your certificates, be proud of what you have become. Be excited of what you are becoming . After all ,the word commencement does not mean an end, it means a new beginning . This is a virtual ticket to your dreams. As you journey in life, make good memories and gain new friends and most importantly, may you find your purpose and continue living a good life.

Congratulations graduates. This is your day. Take it all in for you have earned it. I pray for your success in every good thing you do and Godbless you all .

From Galatians chapter 6 verse 9
Let us not be weary in doing good things, for in the future, we shall reap the fruits of our labor if we faint not.

Thank You.

 To the graduates of 2015: Congratulations and hurry to finish school..We are waiting.

To the readers: Please leave your insights, comments and suggestions. I would love to hear everything you have to say. I hope this is not the end of my public speaking stint.

That was the Class Salutatorian Speaking Credits to him for this Picture

Friday, March 20, 2015

Two sights are better than One

Who sees the glass as half-full and who sees the glass half-empty?  

The pros of having a pessimistic friend in the group:

….because the only person you can tolerate for being a pessimist is a friend of yours.

You have a project, and you’re so hyped up with your great ideas and puffed up with all the good things that can happen and they’ll enumerate all the what-ifs that can also happen. They’re not discouraging you. They are just helping you formulate another better idea.

You are gaga all over about this super cute dress or a bag and (yes) they’ll acknowledge it but will go pointing out all the little things that scream big signs of NO-NO. From zippers that get stuck up, materials that are hard to wash, clothes that are itchy and warm to the skin and on how the quality is not so worth your money.

They don’t purposely want to ruin your vibe when you’re happy high up in cloud 9. They just throw a light of truth along your clouded judgment. They’re useful because they prevent you from making decisions that you might regret an hour later, or if you must insist in going for it, they help you see what can go wrong so that you can do your strategic planning in case the worst case scenarios arise in the future.

A pessimist (may) see more of the negative things that is why they need optimistic friends to inspire them. A balancing act, for all to survive,

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

27 years on earth

27 years has passed and as I’m now living the days toward my 28th year,

May I have:
A healthy body
A loving and grateful heart
Gentle serving and giving hands
A peaceful mind and
A strong blazing faith
These are the things I’m praying for.

To be of Good service
To be an inspiration
To be constantly improving in my field of work
To make manifest in me the goodness and greatness of our Creator
To be a listener, giver, comforter, educator, worker, thinker and lover
To leave a mark of genuine work
To hand-on a competitive output
These are the things I’m aiming for.

Travel. Travel. Travel.
These are what I’m wishing for.

Books. More Books. Lots of Books.
These are the things I’m coveting of.

World Peace.
This is the only thing I’m fighting for.

A sense of purpose.
This is what I’m living for.

My Family, friends and friends I haven’t met yet
They are the people I am grateful for.

Thank you for sticking up with me. Your presence in my life never went unnoticed, maybe not acknowledged but never unnoticed.

Journeying together has made life easier to live, made the burdens lighter and the pains bearable. Journeying with you made the tomorrows worth waking and getting up for.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

That thing called tadhana (in the blurry eyes of someone somewhat tanga)

So ayun, nanuod ako ng "That Thing Called Tadhana" ni JM de Guzman (Anthony), Angelica Panganiban (Mace) at isasali ko na si John Lloyd.Grabeng focus ko sa movie na 'to, di naman dahil sa very eager akong malaman ang storya kundi naubos ko na ang Large Fries at CokeFloat bago pa man magsimula ang movie. Kaya all my senses ay nasa malaking screen sa harapan.

>Ano nga ba ang magagawa ng pinanghahawakan mong 8 years vs. sa 7 words na " Hindi na kita mahal,makakaalis ka na" ? Ipaglalaban mo ba? Magmamakaawa ka ba?(tulad ng gustong gawin ni Mace) o iaasa mo nalang sa tadhana? Na kapag kayo talaga ang para sa isa't isa, kayo't kayo rin ang magkakatuluyan. 

>Makakarecover ka pa ba? OO naman syempre! Maraming tangang magpapatunay na makakarecover ka (katulad nila). Wala nga lang exact number of days. In your own pace, you'll be able to move on.

>At kung sa pagmomove on mo ay may nakakasama ka, marapat lang talaga na magpasalamat sa kanila. Mas mabuti na yung malungkot pero di nag-iisa kesa sa malungkot ka na nga nag-iisa pa.

>At ang tanging magiging straight english sa post na ito ay ang famous lines from F.Scott Fitzgerald

“There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.”

Kaya sa susunod mong love, wag mo na icompare sa iba. Hindi ka magiging masaya dahil hindi ka makakakita ng bagong lovelife kung naghahanap ka ng clone ng ex mo. Kasi nga diba, we are all unique, there might be some similarities but never the same (Hindi ito kasali sa movie, kaechosang reflection ko lang ito)

> Balik naman sa movie na karelate talaga. Matatawa ka nalang (sa sarili mo) kasi parang ganun ka rin nung broken hearted ka.(nyahehe). Yung sa lahat ng bagay na makikita mo,may maaalala kang mairerelate sa inyo ng ex mo. (bakit ganon??. at kahit naman di xa kamukha ni John Lloyd, sa paningin mo, kamukha talaga ni John LLoyd ang ex mo (and not the other way round ---kamukha ng ex mo si John Lloyd).

Hindi pa tayo nakabalik sa movie, lumihis na ulit ang takbo ng utak ko.

> Ano nga kaya ang meron sa Baguio at Sagada at doon gustong gustong pumunta ng mga taong may problema sa puso? Hindi lang sa TTCT ito applicable. Marami nakong nabasang nobela na pumapanhik sa Sagada ang mga brokenhearted na characters para makapagmoveon o mag soul search.kapag naisip mo o ng ibang tao na magsoulsearching, simulan ka ng kabahan. Wala ng mas nakakadisturb sa thought na nawawala ang iyong sarili at kelangan mong hanapin .(malala na yun)

Gusto mag move on? Burgis ka ba?...pumunta ka sa Baguio para umiyak. Tumuloy ka na rin papuntang Sagada at nang makompleto ang cycle ng pagmomove on mo.

Pero wag kang tumigil na magmahal (ng ibang tao)...

> Huwag magdamdam kung hindi naibalik sa'yo ang sobra-sobrang pagmamahal na ibinibigay mo. Sa sobra-sobrang pagmamahal na iyon, imposibleng walang maibabalik sa'yo . Maniwala ka (ayon kay Anthony), maibabalik yun sayo,pwedeng hindi mula sa pinagbigyan mo pero pwede mula sa ibang tao.

Kaya Give lang ng give ng love. Para na rin yun sa ikatatahimik ng konsensya mo. Kung di man kayo para sa forever (meron ba nun?), at least naibigay mo lahat ng gusto mong ibigay at wala kang pagsisihang nagkulang ka.

>Pero ang highlight naman yata ng pelikula ay ang cute story tungkol sa The Arrow with a heart pierced through Him. Malamang sa sobrang konti ng words may magsasabing hindi iyon story. Ngunit ahswear!ito na ang storyang nakaka awwww at nakaka oooh. Actually, mukhang ang binayaran kong ticket ay para talaga sa story ni Pointy Arrow at ng natuhog na si Heart which goes somewhat (but not exactly ) like this....

May isang Pointy Arrow.
Araw-araw narealize nyang pabigat ng pabigat ang dinadala nya.
Pag check niya, may heart na nakatuhog sa kanya. 
Dahil nabibigatan na sya, it went on a quest to find the owner of the heart and return it.
pero sa lahat ng napagtanungan nya,wala namang nawawalan ng puso though yung iba malapit na (pero di pa naman nawawala)
Hanggang sa tuluyan nang nag drop off yung heart.
Masaya si  Arrow kasi it can go back to its life being a Pointy Arrow.
Pero napansin nyang, bumigat ang sarili nya
As time went by,it learned to carry its own weight and....
tapusin ang kwento sa pamamagitan ng panonood ng movie.

Hindi mo malalaman kung sino and pabigat o ang mabigat. Ikaw ba?O sya ba?Dahil ba nagiging extra baggage na sya? o ikaw ang extra?

hindi mo rin malalaman who's carrying who?Ang arrow ba na nagdadala ng bigat ng heart na nakatusok dito? o ang Heart  (na tila Balloon) ang nagpapaangat ng arrow na mabigat?

Wag na nating sagutan. Di naman lahat ng may question mark ay tanong na dapat sagutan. :D

Sa katapusan ng pelikula, isang consolation ang nakuha iyon ay...

Hindi lang ikaw ang tanga sa mundo. Marami tayo (mabuti nalang marami tayo)

That thing called tadhana? well..Tadhana will help, but it's your decision and effort that will keep it

P.S. Hindi ito movie review.


Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Google's magic sauce

I've been downloading files from e-mail when I (surprisingly) got the leisure time to read the subject and the recipients and other features of a standard e-mail. I wonder if you give attention to them...I just found these usually...

but this one is a brow twitcher...I do not know what it means. What Magic Sauce?!

Can someone please explain?

Friday, January 30, 2015

Exchange Shirts

When  Thank You seems not enough, you just gotta say thank you again and sprinkle more ajinomoto.

A mountaineer have conquered Cagayan de Oro City by successfully completing a solo quest in search for  Pane e Dolci's Sylvannas. Thankfully, he found it! and thankfully, he was able to handcarry those oh so precious baby packages back to General Santos City . 

To congratulate him for that and to welcome a potential CDO tourist. I have bought him a shirt. 

Choosing designs from a souvenir shop is easy peazy, what will eat your your time is deciding what size to buy for a person who seems to bloat and shrink. (oooops!) 

December, and I was malling,strolling and shelling money for books (eherm) I got this shirt hand delivered to me.  (sealed and delivered but not signed). No letters, no notes dude. How sad. (haha)

From General Santos City to someone who hasn't been there yet! 

And my goal is to really fatten myself up and fill up the shirt. It can pass as a dress if I haven't tucked the shirt in. (teehee) I realized then, how thin I am. (Please send tuna from GSC the next time please!)

Thank you GSC...and it's no Ajinomoto sprinkles when I say I love GenSAn. I haven't been there (yet), but I have developed a sense of love for GenSan mainly because of the people there. My BBFF, FBF and the yaya monkey faced on the first picture and for the future friends I haven't met yet. 

See you GenSan! (the soonest) crossed fingers!

*this post is already long due. I was caught up already in the hustle and bustle of Christmas season as well as the 2015 back to work mode. Good thing I have this alibi to blog and divert my stressed ranger mode and find something to be thankful for amidst the chaos around and within me. (hahaha)

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Mercury Retrogade 2015

I guess I'm up for another Facebook Blocking. Men! Can't blame you if you can't take my rash online behaviour.

Peace yo! and see you around. 

I don't know if I'd blame the things that are happening right now to mercury retrogade. I've been extra moody these days, but I am aware though that I am also extra cautious in making abrupt decisions. I have learned my lesson in mercury retrogade in the year 2013.  As much as possible, I don't want to make the same mistake again. 

So, all decisions will be moved to February 12,2015...though I cannot bear to lose this single chance of magic that is about to expire (maybe) 12,000 seconds from now.

okufanele ngikwenze?

Saturday, January 17, 2015

I am not Numb, just Dumb sometimes

I am supposed to get a haircut today. I usually have my haircuts on 17th or 27th of the month. It just became sort of a ritual for me. To shed something in commemorating either a special day or one of the few worst days I had.

Way back year 2013, on this same date, my life changed because of a message that said I'm beautiful, I have the look and I am a good person. It's just that we don't look good together because I look like a kid when we're together. Warning me not to expect too much and setting a boundary to "just friends" with extended hopes that i'd understand.

He was so honest and I admired the guts he had. (making me like the person more)
I value truth so much that I believe that Honesty will always remain as the best policy. But sometimes I wish I could have those moments where I can enjoy the bliss of ignorance.

Since then, I've tried to wear dresses and strived to look better in the eyes of those around me. My confidence had never been shaken until that day. I felt insecurity for the first time. I was always the "I-don't-care-what-other-people-think-as-as-long-as-my-conscience-is-clear" kind of person ."simplicity is beauty" has always been my mantra and motto. I preferred jeans,shirts,flat sandals,hooded jackets and sling bags. Now, my clothes scaled up to dresses,blouses,cardigans,blazers,skirts and shoes... I can't let go of the sling bags though which left the the classier bags to remain unused. 

He made me feel bad that day, but he did inspired me to become better. Always throwing side comments on taking care of one's self first before the others. He lets me see things without offending me. Bluntly honest about my figure(stick figure), my blindness (i wear eyeglasses) and my hair (unruly untreated hair). He taught me to trust. Now, you won't blame me if I wouldn't want to let go of such a great find. 

And I won't blame him either, if he wanted me to let go of him (or the other way round)

I had taken his presence for granted.

He was sweet. I am not.
He was carefree. I am stiff.
He was happy. I am bitter.
He's mature. I am childish.

People say I was numb.

I think our realizations aren't in sync:

he realized I'm sort of special: I didn't saw anything special
he realized I wasn't that special at all: I realized he's sort of special
no further realization on his part (assumed by me): I realized that he is so damn special.
no further realization on his part (assumed by me): I realized that he's not really special,because he's way more than that, and I wished I fought for that.

...does that make me dumb?

 I wasn't really prepared for a relationship that time. I was finding my way blindly on a dark room . Neither am I prepared right now. I am so full of different truths that they blind me with great light.

I am still hopeful though. Still trying to fatten myself up.

still, I am saddened by that fact that no one seems to take me seriously just because I look way much younger than my actual age. I am constantly torn between improving myself vs. being myself.

So, today... I am not getting that sentimental haircut yet. I will grow my hair and hopefully will go for a curly-do. 

They say i look neat with the short bob, but now, I think I just have to deal with the fly-away hair and see if I look better with curls. (haha) yada.yada. to what other people might say. If you know my worth, I believe my appearance won't get in the way.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

December Gifts

Last Saturday I went to run an errand. And that errand is to pick up gifts for me from a party I wasn't able to attend last December. My peg was "no show" for 2 parties and a wedding. I didn't really wished not to come, it's just that there are many kinds of threats when in comes to safety in traveling. 

Biane. Gomennasai.

...and arigatou for these gifts. 

Since I am away from home. A mug is my all-in-one drinking glass (for coffee,juice,tea,water and even for soup), unlike at home where you get to have a cup, a mug and a glass.

These are hand cremes by Glam Works. I love that they come in small tubes that you can put in the pocket of your bags. They are sweet yet fresh smelling too. I know they're hand cremes but I am going beyond than just my hands. I am currently using the pink one as body lotion and reserving the green ones just for my hands.

....and the letters! I love letters. 

I saved this picture for last because it seems to have a theme aside from the color pink. A watch,a dainty stationery,and Victoria's Secret Love Spell in a bottle. The letter told me of hopes that I'd like the scent. Like is underrated. I love the scent, and in  fact I've been trying to search for that sweet fruity scent for many years now. I've encountered the scent in Comfort room stalls in  malls and I'm just too shy to ask the person what scent is she using. (haha). Now, it finally found its way into me.

The watch's band needs adjustment since I have a thin wrist. As written in the letter, I can have the strap adjusted at any watch repair shop.*wink

Now, as for the theme I mentioned. . . You see a perfume and a watch. I see the need for a love spell and I hear the time ticking as the days bring me to my 27th birthday next month. (harhar). 

People are telling me that it's high time I marry. Marry!? To whom?