Thursday, October 10, 2013

Welcome to the chambers of my heart.

---no edits...I normally write my thoughts on paper...but I found out these thoughts were in soft copy (might as well post give you a glimpse of some untold stories) :) ...they serve as mood map...reminding me of the thoughts i had which led me to the present thoughts i'm havin' (huh?)..I happen to have thought these in the past three months. They say, when you can talk about something freely and publicly,that means you've already accepted the fact and already moved on. ('s that true?)..

July 4,2013
This was one of days wherein the day started not so right but definitely ended with a surprise. I woke up late today and my morning routine was delayed. At work,my new PC wasn’t set upped yet and so I have a new bunch of files on my pending task collection. To make it more worst, yahoo mail won’t accept my password and maybe thought I’m a captcha decoder. I just had coffee for breakfast and took my lunch at one in the afternoon. We have a chapter quiz on the last period of class and I’m sort of stressed.  Then,there was that activity in the auditorium for the election of officers, bad: haven’t eaten yet and I’m starving already,good: classes were moved to Saturday,that means were free after the election activity.
Yay!We decided to eat dinner at a local grill.
Twas a free flowing conversation and time flew past. It’s good to know more about your new found friends. Truly there are no strangers,just friends we haven’t met yet. We talked,ate and laughed. Tonight is a night full of learning and it’s been a long time since I laughed so much that my jaw ached and I felt like I’m growing some abs. I am thankful and grateful for such company and conversation. Since I don’t usually have the chance to sit down with friends, I say, what happened was a rare and special thing.
We ended with a milk shake treat and another set of conversation…so it didn’t ended yet. Nyaha!
Is it possible that you are intolerant only with fresh milk? How does really fresh milk tastes like? Would you answer a call from an unknown number? Does Ma’am Econ really look like Mr. Bean? What is the proper way of laughing?
My thought for tonight: Communication is a key ingredient to understanding thus will lead to the much dreamed of peace.

July 11,2013
A friend of mine posted  a status in facebook asking what wedding gift would be right for the wedding of someone you once loved. I almost wrote on the comment section “what gift would you give for the wedding of a person you’ve  always loved?”  I’m pretty sure we are talking of the same person. She must’ve been happy for him and I’m here sulking over the thought that he’s near to being a husband and I’m still zipped mouth on my feelings.  The more he talks about the girl, the more I knew about her; and the more I knew about her, the more that I seem to like her. Seriously, I cannot doubt his preference with the girl (he told me, she’s not that kind of a beauty but he chose her because he saw in her  what she saw in me)----ya’ll out there ,can you tell me what’s that supposed to mean? Does he meant, he would’ve wanted me in the first place? Or he just meant, I’m his standard for benchmarking?
 I was invited of course to the wedding, and personally I’d really like to attend such big special day for him. Unfortunately, I have activities outside work and I’m still not sure whether I can compromise which for which. The big day is part of the examination days at school. Jokingly, I’d just say I can’t attend because I’m afraid I’d might ‘speak now’ like Taylor Swift’s song. With more humor in mind, maybe I can just say I’d attend the wedding if and only if someone can assure that the wedding won’t push through. I know the last one’s sort of not so good. It is never good to think of barricading someone else’s happiness especially if that person is so special to you. You would always want to see them happy and nurse your own bruises in the comforts of your room.
Setting my emotions aside , let’s go back to the perfect wedding gift. I have many ideas for wedding gifts but I wanted this one to be special. Something that will last and make me well remembered and won’t leave my finances broke.  Any ideas for this panic stricken gal? Wedding bells will be ringing on the third Saturday of this month.

July 18,2013
I had caffeine boost for the day from coffee to colas but to no effect I’m still sleepy.Does yawning mean you are sleepy or just bored?

July 24,2013
Got missed calls from an unknown number at early morn. Turned out it’s him saying thank you for the gift and expressing his feelings of “mahay” on me for not coming to his wedding. ‘Tis good to hear the same familiar comforting voice…I guess he will always be that someone who wasn’t mine but will always be there when needed. Unlike some people,who expressed and assured to be always there and they end up the one  leaving. (tsk!)
Things are way better when promises aren’t made….and when assuming is out of the scene.
My performance at work and in school is pivoting down and it’s making me dizzy. I am always distracted and my mind is always wandering off. I seem to procrastinate more than the normal procrastination acceptable and I know It’s not good. My score on quizzes are below the passing score and sometimes if lucky, I’m just on the passing mark. I need to get a grip of myself and get back to life.! So may God help me.  I wouldn’t want to let people to fully affect the way I live my life, I’ve already been through that and I’d like to do away with it because it ain’t healthy.

replays... (photonotmine)

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